Rule Number One
by Uakari
Summary: Written for TrueDespair.  A citrus-y little tryst to fit into Chapter 11 of her "Anything But Simple" fic.  Horitsuba-verse.


**A/N: This was written for True Despair, to fit into Chapter 11 her story "Anything But Simple" - it's set in Horitsuba-verse and very cute and I demand that you all go read it RIGHT NOW. For those of you that refuse, either because you're lazy or just looking for smut…the set up is that the Horitsuba students are on a class trip at sea on a bigass cruise ship. Fai is freaking out thinking about Ashura (who in this verse was his teacher from way back when and more than a bit of a bastard). Kurogane is freaking out for other reasons, mostly involving podosterbation (I might have made that word up, and I won't tell you what it means. "Pod" refers to the foot. Let your mind roam from there…)**

**And yes, I am well aware of the irony inherent in this being the follow-up to that YAOI-laced rant I wrote last. It's just that this whole "shame" concept continues to elude me…**

_It was the last thing Fai heard before his lips were captured again. He was glad that he was with the person he loved dearly._

_It almost made him forget about _that man _for a moment._

Fai smiled to himself; if the fervor with which the other man was pinning him to the bed, pawing at his side, tasting and _teasing _him with both wanton tongue and teeth was anything to judge by, Kurogane clearly had designs on making him forget _everything _- up to and including his own name (which - despite the other's teasing insistence that Fai was an airhead who would forget his own name _anyway _if it weren't clearly printed on his ID card - had only happened once; after the temporary rush of blood back to his brain and the thrumming in his ears had subsided he'd been quite fine, _thank you_…though it had been awhile before he'd been able to walk normally again…).

A sharp nip at his earlobe brought him back to the present moment. "You're thinking again…" Kurogane's words drifted hot and breathily into his ear.

Fai chuckled and scraped his nails along Kurogane's skin as his fingers wound their way into the short hairs at the base of his neck "I thought you said I don't think enough…?"

"You don't. Which is why it's so annoying that you're choosing to start now." Kurogane pushed himself up to hover over the smaller man, a serious expression creeping slowly across his features.

"Well, no time like the present, I suppose…" Fai grinned wickedly as he gripped Kurogane's shoulders and forced him up and over to the side, fully intending to reverse their positions and quell any suspicions that he was not fully engrossed in their exertions…

In the end, he only managed to shift the other enough to knock their half-unpacked suitcases from the bed and scatter their contents across the floor.

Kurogane grunted and rubbed his hip where it had collided with the luggage. Maybe he really _should _have finished unpacking first…

Fai appeared to be thinking along the same lines as he jumped up from the bed and began hurriedly collecting their strewn belongings, murmuring quiet apologies as he gathered armfuls of clothing and toiletries to replace in their bags.

A heavily muscled arm caught him around the waist and knocked the pile he had collected to the ground as it pulled him backward into an equally impressive chest. "Later," a husky voice hissed in his ear.

"But Kuro-rin…"

"Pick it up _later_," Kurogane insisted. The mess was annoying, but not nearly so annoying as being interrupted mid…whatever they been in the middle of. He sat back on the edge of the bed, pulling Fai down into his lap as he did. He bit back a groan as the other straddled him, rocking gently against the bulge in his pants, and wrapped long legs around his waist.

"Kuro-sama-sensei is certainly eager…" Fai teased as he traced the rim of the other's ear with his tongue, pausing only momentarily to lap languidly at the skin hidden just behind the lobe. Kurogane acknowledged as much with a low, rumbling hum before turning his face against the blonde's, brushing the tip of his nose once, twice, three times against the other's and enveloping the altogether-too-chatty lips once again with his own. He shuddered as Fai's hands twined slowly back into his hair, tugging, twisting at the roots while their tongues met and meshed, gently stroking and sweeping abstract patterns across roughened surfaces. He loosened his grip at the other man's hips and slid his hands slowly upward.

Fai inhaled sharply as the rough hands drifted beneath the hem of his shirt, palming his sides roughly before dipping back down beneath the waist of his pants and clutching tightly at his hips. He broke away from their kiss to breathe out a low moan as Kurogane used this leverage to rock him forward once more, pulling their bodies flush and teasing his erection between the press of their abdomens. "Very…eager…" he murmured.

Kurogane grinned into Fai's neck and continued his groping exploration of the other's back. He bit down lightly into the crease of the shoulder before him and allowed his eyes to flutter open briefly. The room really _was _a mess, he noted with some despair before quickly attempting to smother the compulsively tidy part of his brain with the rampaging hormones coursing through the rest of his anatomy. Still, he couldn't _quite _bring himself to look away and an odd ball of blue fuzz captured his attention. "What is that?" he demanded, craning his neck around Fai's shoulder for a better view.

"What's what?" Fai breathed, cupping Kurogane's jaw and pulling their faces close once again to graze the gym teacher's lips with his own.

"This." Kurogane pulled back once again and stretched his leg as far as he could to loop his foot beneath the object and pull it painstakingly up to their perch on the bed. He dangled the fur-trimmed, chain-linked cuffs in front of Fai's face and lifted a questioning eyebrow.

Fai smirked. "Oh Kuro-pyon-sensei, and here I thought you were the gym teacher…"

"What the hell do these have to do with phys ed?"

"But you also teach sex ed…" Fai pouted, "And here I thought all of the Horitsuba students were getting a world-class education…"

"I don't teach them bondage games!"

"Ah! So you _do _know what they are!" 

Kurogane felt his face flush several shades deeper. _That sneaky little pervert_…though he had to admit that the idea wasn't entirely…_unappealing_… A jolt of electricity tore through his abdomen as his thoughts drifted… No, definitely not unappealing at all.

"So what were you planning on doing?" he growled, a teasing smile tugging at his lips, "Waiting until I was out of my mind with lust and then slapping these on to have your way with me? Or…_maybe _they're not for us. Maybe you're planning on roping yourself another lover while we're at sea…?

Fai gasped in mock-horror and worked his lip into a sultry pout. "Perish the though!" he fanned himself with one hand while pretending to sob, "Waah! I just thought that my dearest Kuro-myuu-sensei would enjoy trying something new! Obviously I should have known better, since he's obviously such a _prude _that he won't even teach his students how to play bondage games! This is what I get for trying to keep our sex-life interesting. Oh the _shame_!"

Kurogane smirked. The idiot had been so busy blathering on that he'd failed to notice the metallic _clink _when Kurogane had locked the cuffs into place. It wasn't until Kurogane had lifted a hand to cover the other's mouth that Fai realized that his wrists were now decorated with blue fur and linked together by an exceptionally short chain.

"Um, Kuro…this isn't exactly what I had in mind…"

"No?"

"No, this just prevents me from being able to do anything to you with my hands."

"Who said you were going to be doing anything?"

"But, I - " Fai's protests were cut short as he was lifted roughly from his perch and hauled up toward the headboard. "That - OW! What are you doing?"

Kurogane frowned. "Does that hurt?"

Fai fidgeted; his arms were trapped behind his head, caught on something just out of sight, but he wasn't uncomfortable. "No, it doesn't hurt." He grinned. "Will you be teaching your students the proper way to tie up their lovers next semester, after all? I can take notes if you'd like."

"_There is no bondage talk, you kinky bastard_!"

"Actually, I believe the academic term is _Coitus Captivius_…"

"If you don't stop talking, this is going to turn into _Coitus Ductoblabius_."

"Oooh, what's that?"

"That's where I seal your flapping jaws off with duct tape so I can finally get around to fucking you senseless in peace."

"And Kuro-sama calls _me _kinky…" Fai began to tease, but was quickly silenced as the taller man crawled over him and locked his lips forcefully over Fai's own, effectively swallowing any further comment. Kurogane lingered a moment longer, savoring both the moment of quiet and the rush of blood to his groin the sight, smell and taste of a plainly aroused and tightly bound Fai produced. Satisfied by the end of the inane babble and goaded onward by the feeling of tightly wound muscles relaxing beneath him, he pulled away from Fai's mouth and nibbled lightly along the jaw line, dipping beneath the angle and sucking harshly at the curve of the other's neck.

Fai's chest hummed with the barest of moans as Kurogane worked his mouth further down, it's path paved by the slow fumbling of large fingers grappling with too-small buttons and disagreeable eyelets. Tiring quickly of this obstacle course, Kurogane hooked his index finger in the button row and _yanked_, successfully loosing several buttons from their holes, but scattering the majority haphazardly across the room.

"Kuro-rin! I liked this shirt!"

Kurogane smirked. "Isn't that the point of this? To tie you up and treat you mean?"

"Treat me meeaaAHH!" Fai writhed as Kurogane's teeth sunk into a nipple.

"What?"

"That's _too _mean!"

Kurogane grinned. "Too mean? Well, I suppose I _could _be nicer…" He stroked the blonde's erection through his pants.

"Mmm…that _is _nicer." Fai pressed his hips forward into the touch as Kurogane leaned over him again and sprayed small, hot kisses down the side of his face and neck.

Blue eyes drifted closed as Fai arched his neck to demand a deeper kiss. He moaned softly as Kurogane kneaded him more forcefully. This _was _much nicer, but - "Kuro-myuu…" he hissed.

"What?"

"How long are you going to do this?"

"Do what?"

"_This_."

"What's this?"

"Teasing me."

"Am I teasing?"

"_Yes_." He thrust his hips forward for emphasis.

"Oh. Well, what do you want to do, then?"

Fai grinned devilishly and leaned forward so that his lips were brushing - just barely - against the other's ear. "I want to fuck you," he breathed.

It took every ounce of control the gym teacher possessed to hold together the fraying tethers of his self-restraint and he found himself, for the first time in his life, giving silent thanks to the endless parade of obnoxious students, faculty, and administrators that had helped temper the impulsive nature that insisted he tear away the other man's clothes and take him right _now_...

_Calming…calming… _

He exhaled with a smirk as the urge faded away; it seemed that which did not make him kill others had _indeed _made him stronger… Or was that the wrong aphorism? Why was he thinking about this? Surely there was something else demanding his attention…

Ah. _Yes_… "And how are you going to do that? All tied up like this…"

Fai wiggled his hips suggestively and pressed their foreheads together. "_Ride me_."

_Dammit!_ He could feel the cords holding him together tattering even further. He set his jaw and narrowed his eyes. "Lazy," he growled, "You want to lay there like a starfish while I do all the work."

"I can't be a starfish in this position," Fai teased, "It's more like a sea slug. Of course, if you just unlocked the cuffs…"

"Nah," Kurogane decided, slipping one hand under Fai's back and using the other to quickly divest the other of his drawers. "I think this way is more fun." He struggled to free himself from his own cumbersome garments - difficult in his current position - and settled for flinging them haphazardly onto the already messy floor. He leaned toward the bedside table and after a moment of fumbling produced a small bottle of lube.

Fai snorted. "Socks."

"Huh?" Kurogane was preoccupied with the snap-off lid of the bottle.

"Take your socks off."

"What? Why?"

"There is no way I'm having sex with a naked man in socks." He slapped his knees together to emphasize this point.

Kurogane let loose a disgruntled growl and yanked the offensive items from his feet. "Happy?"

"Very." Fai smiled as he relaxed his legs once again.

"Good," Kurogane climbed back over the top of him, "Then shut _up_." He clamped his lips firmly down over the other's and slid one slick hand down to grip the swollen shaft of the other's cock. He teased down, down, down - so slowly - exposing the crown and massaging the tip with his thumb. He buried his face in the crook of Fai's neck, just below the blond hairline, and pumped leisurely until he could feel the chemistry teacher quivering beneath him, humming in anticipation. His nose brushed a few wisps of hair away from Fai's ear as his hand traveled lower, grazing - teasing - over the cleft of the other's ass. "I…you.." he whispered breathily, swallowing most of his words.

"I lo-_ah_!" Fai gasped as Kurogane's finger pressed into him. His head snapped to the side, hungrily searching out the other's lips; licking, biting, tasting as warm, slick fingers invaded, stretched and _stroked_. He whimpered when Kurogane pulled away; he felt empty, incomplete as he watched Kurogane position himself on his knees at the end of the bed and fidget violently with the bottle of lube. "Hurry _up_," Fai demanded, jerking against the cuffs.

Kurogane huffed and chuckled lowly as he pressed forward, lifting Fai's legs up over his own thighs and guiding his cock to the other's entrance. "Keep that up and I'm going to make this take all day."

"You wouldn't."

"I might." But he pushed forward anyway - tortuously slowly - and leaned on to his elbows, bringing his forehead to rest on the other's as he slid fully in. "You're so antsy," he murmured as he kissed Fai's nose, his eyelids, and breathed in the scent of his hair.

"You're so…_evil_," Fai whined and thrust his hips harshly into Kurogane's lap, smirking at the drawn out groan he received in turn.

Kurogane growled and straightened his back, his desire to toy with the blonde slowly fading into the darker recesses of his mind as his hips pulled back and tight clench of the other's hole dragged along his cock. He thrust back in with a low hum and began a slow rhythm, entranced by the way his partner writhed and moaned beneath him, face contorting and arms pulling against their restraints. He gave a particularly rough thrust and Fai's head kicked back into the pillows, neck arching sharply as he released a loud cry.

This was too much. Kurogane extracted himself fully and grabbed the other's ankles, jerking them up over his shoulders before thrusting mercilessly back in. He resumed a much more frenzied pace than before, driven onward by the harsh slap of skin against skin, the wet slurp of the lubricant and the strangled, airy cries of the man beneath him mixing in his ears, dancing about his consciousness, all demanding more, faster, _harder_.

Fai arched his back as he felt the other grasp his erection and begin stroking him in time to the unforgiving rhythm. He could feel it pooling in his groin; the icy hot sensation spreading, crawling up his spine as he felt himself moving closer, closer, until finally he was -

****

The light fixture crashed down onto his face without warning, ripped from the wall by the sudden surprised lurch Fai had taken at the sound of the ship's fog horn. Kurogane jumped and cursed loudly, eyeing the small trickle of blood running down the blonde's forehead. He snatched the lamp away, tossing it roughly to the side, and clamored to find the keys for the handcuffs. He released Fai's hands, kissing where the obnoxious blue fuzz had failed to protect his wrists from rubbing against the cold metal and shuffling the other toward the suite's bathroom.

_Fuck_.

He sat back on the bed, eyes closed and legs spread, trying to cool down while Fai tended his injury. _Fucking stupid boat and its fucking stupid horn…_

He was surprised a moment later when a warm washcloth landed in his lap and opened his eyes to find Fai kneeling between his legs, smiling down at him. "You okay?"

"It was just a little scratch," Fai assured him, scooting forward, "Or, as the academics call it; _Coitus Interruptus_."

"You and your damn academics," Kurogane grunted, lifting a hand to cup the other's face. The warm washcloth really wasn't doing anything to calm his current state of arousal. Neither was the sight of the chemistry teaching kneeling in front of him, tousled and naked except for the ruined shirt barely hanging from his shoulders.

He felt Fai's eyes drift to his crotch and watched as a slow smile spread across the other's face.

"Good to know that didn't kill the mood completely," Fai teased as he watched the washcloth bob up and down. He reached down to grasp it, stroking Kurogane beneath the warm fibers and drenching the other's lap with the water dripping free as he squeezed.

Kurogane sighed, concerned. "But…"

"No buts," Fai interrupted, swiftly kicking his knees apart and pushing Kurogane's thighs along with them. He gave a final twist and squeeze, wiping away the last of the lube and leaned forward, taking as much of the other man in his mouth as he could and swallowing harshly.

Kurogane roared, even as he felt Fai pull back and close his lips around the head. "Good fucking _god_, you could warn me before you do that!"

Fai looked up innocently. "Do what?"

"Oh, no. Don't you start this now."

"Start what?"

"Start thi-" Kurogane started to protest, but found it incredibly difficult to speak as Fai swallowed his shaft once again.

Fay released him and smiled deviously. "Let's face it, Kuro-sama-sensei; you failed. I don't think you're qualified to give that bondage lecture after all."

"_There is no _- I did _NOT _fail! _YOU _broke the lamp."

"Rule number one of bondage play: never tie your partner to a breakable light fixture."

"_That is not a rule!"_

"Well, _you _obviously wouldn't know. I think I'm going to have to give you a lesson before we let you teach those poor, impressionable children anything."

"You're not giving me a lesson in _anything_."

"No? How about this, then?" Kurogane suddenly found himself on his back, one of Fai's hands pressing down into his chest while the other gripped his cock. "I still want to fuck you."

Kurogane smirked. "As long as you're not going to be a starfish."

"Oh, I _definitely _won't be that," Fai promised, taking the other in his mouth once again and reaching for the bottle of lube.

Kurogane groaned as Fai's fingers pressed into him. Fai smiled brightly at him, nuzzled the inside of his thigh, and resumed his oral ministrations.

There was a knock on the wall. "Oh, boys! I'm assuming from the lack of noise that you're done in there - you've got fifteen minutes before we have to meet for dinner!"

"God _DAMN IT_!" Kurogane bellowed.

"Oh, I take it you're not quite finished then," Yuuko continued through the wall, "Forget I said anything!"

Kurogane could have sworn he heard giggling.

"Um, Kuro-darling…"

He looked down to see Fai staring expectantly at him. "Huh?"

"It's fine if you want to clench like this, but could you at least wait until I'm inside of you?"

Kurogane flushed and forced himself to relax. That damned _witch_…

"Looks like this is going to have to be a quickie," Fai murmured with a note of regret as he gathered himself into position. Kurogane raised himself up onto his elbows as he felt the head of Fai's cock brush against his asshole. "What do you think you're doing?" Fai demanded, pushing him back down. "Stay." He lifted Kurogane's knees up over his shoulders and locked them into place, draping one arm over their top. He gently kissed the other's knee and stroked a thigh with his free hand as he pushed in.

Kurogane sighed as Fai held them together. He wanted to touch, wanted to kiss, wanted to taste the man kneeling between his legs, impaling him on his cock. He supposed this was payback for cuffing Fai to the light fixture…

"This isn't payback; this is a _quickie_," Fai chuckled as if reading his mind. "If I let you kiss me, I'll just want to drag this out forever." He hissed slightly as he began moving and gripped Kurogane's cock tightly, stroking them both with each movement. "Not that I won't want to anyway…" He felt Kurgoane was exceptionally beautiful from this vantage point, with his hands clutched tightly at Fai's wide spread knees, sweat rolling from his brow, dark hair drooping over crimson eyes that refused to break contact with his own. He chuckled at this last bit - how _very _Kurogane to demand a staring contest at a time like this…

"Why are you laughing?" Kurogane panted.

"I'm not laughing." To prove his point, Fai picked up his pace, still keeping his thrusts relatively gentle but clenching his fist tighter around the other's shaft.

Kurogane cried out at the added pressure and bucked his hips, meeting Fai thrust for thrust. He could feel the room around him start to melt away as he drifted closer and closer to orgasm. The hand around his cock loosened its grip without warning and his eyes sprang open, searching the face above him for the reason _why, why, WHY, _and gasping in dismay when all he found was a maniacal grin, "Don't…stop…" he begged.

"Scream."

"…what…?"

"Scream for me."

"Not…with…the…next…door..."

Blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "Oh, _pretty _please..." His grip tightened again. "I'll make it worth your while."

"Fu-" the words caught in Kurogane's throat as he once again felt himself tensing, rushing up over that ledge until finally every nerve in his body lit up and his vision blurred as orgasm came crashing over him.

His scream played like sweet music through Fai's ears and he used this opportunity to thrust harder, faster, and deeper, reveling in the tight clench of the other man around him as he neared his own peak. Satisfied with Kurogane's exhausted, panting face, Fai removed his hand and gripped the other's knees. He dug his fingers tightly into the skin there as he drove wildly forward, quickly losing himself into the current spreading through his body until finally - _finally _- he came, gasping for air and struggling to keep his view of Kurogane from being completely obscured by the lights dancing across his vision.

He knelt there for a long moment, supporting himself against Kurogane's thighs, cheeks flushed and trembling, before collapsing onto the other's chest. He mewled contentedly as he felt a soft touch trace up his spine, long fingers twist into his hair, and gentle lips press against his forehead. He lifted his head up, still panting, and smiled. "And that, Kuro-sama-sensei, is how you do it."

Kurogane did not open his eyes. "Do what?"

"Fuck a man senseless."

"Tch," Kurogane snorted, "I've had better."

Fai rolled into the crook of the other's arm. "No you haven't."

"Well, there was that one time-"

"No there wasn't."

"Fine. But it _could _be better."

"That's not a very nice thing to say, Kuro-pyon."

"It's a _dare_, you idiot."

"Mmm," Fay murmured lazily, "Kuro-sama should learn to ask nicely."

Kurogane huffed, but smiled discreetly and rubbed Fai's shoulder. "Dinner."

"Not hungry."

"We have to go."

"No we don't." Fai's eyes drifted closed and he looped an arm around Kurogane's waist. "Yuuko said…"

"Yuuko…doesn't need to know."

Fai chuckled softly. "She _already _knows. Kuro-chan screams like a little girl." This earned him a soft punch on the shoulder, but neither man made an effort to move.

_Unbeknownst to the lazy couple, a double-team-dive-bomb-glomp of record setting speed was being coordinated by two highly amused Mokonas just beyond their door…_


End file.
